Video Game Movies, Ranked by Meesh.

🐾 Meesh: The first one stuck the landing, and Galaxy is the good Mario — spinny, floaty, star-collecty — so the bar was high and it clears it. Bright, big-hearted, and gorgeous in motion: exactly the Sunday-afternoon Mario you want. Streaming now, and the tail did NOT stop wagging.

🐾 Meesh: Bright, loud, full of references, and actually enjoyable. Chris Pratt as Mario still confuses me, but the movie knew what it was and stuck the landing.

🐾 Meesh: The infamous one. A dystopian dino-noir where Bob Hoskins reportedly drank to forget the shoot and Dennis Hopper chewed the scenery as a reptilian King Koopa. Nintendo buried it so deep you can barely stream it legally in the US — which only made the Blu-ray a collector’s treasure hunt. Goombas as tiny-headed giants, "Trust the fungus," a plot that fell down a warp pipe and never came back. It’s a genuine so-bad-it’s-fascinating relic — the disaster that scared Nintendo out of Hollywood for 30 years. Hate-watch it loud, then go hug the 2023 reboot.

🐾 Meesh: Keanu voiced Shadow and I sat up straight. Best one yet — more chaos, more emotion, more blue. I howled when Shadow showed up. Good boy energy.

🐾 Meesh: Tails! Knuckles! More fast blue creature. Bigger, sillier, still charming. Jim Carrey chewed the scenery like it was a bone. Tail wags.

🐾 Meesh: Fast blue dog... wait, hedgehog. Whatever. It was fun, Jim Carrey went full feral, and I did not hate it. That is high praise.

🐾 Meesh: All three fast-blue-hedgehog movies in one box — the rare game-movie series that got BETTER each time. Jim Carrey chews every scene, Sonic finally looks right, and by the third one they nailed it. Worth the whole bundle.

🐾 Meesh: The one Meesh has been pacing by the door for. Wes Ball (Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes) is taking Hyrule LIVE-ACTION for Nintendo and Sony — Link, the Master Sword, the ocarina, the whole Triforce. Nintendo guards this crown jewel like a bone buried deep, so if they signed off, there’s a real plan here, not a cash grab. Cautiously, tail-thumpingly optimistic. Please, please don’t make it weird.

🐾 Meesh: FINALLY — a video-game show that GETS it. The Ghoul, the vaults, the retro-future rot, the pitch-black comedy — all of it. I loved every irradiated minute. Bonus: I watched Season 2 (yes, the Macaulay Culkin cameo) while, ironically, Home Alone myself. A rare tail-thumping howl. Sign up for Prime for this one alone — no notes.

🐾 Meesh: Finally a video game movie that understood joy. Ryan Reynolds as a talking Pikachu was chaotic in the best way. I would watch this while chewing a new bone.

🐾 Meesh: They’re really doing it again. The first one was dumb-fun blocky chaos that somehow WORKED, so my tail is cautiously going. But I need everyone to understand: if "Lava Chicken" claws its way back into every feed like last time, I am going to completely lose it — again. Here’s the making-of to tide us over. Bring earplugs for the inevitable chicken.

🐾 Meesh: Chaotic, meme-heavy, and somehow charming. Jack Black as Steve was committed. Not deep, but I wagged my tail more than once.

🐾 Meesh: Karl Urban as Johnny Cage is EXACTLY as good as I hoped — ego, sunglasses, "I’m a movie star," and a green-energy uppercut that had me barking at the screen. The rest is loud, gory, fatality-forward MK comfort food where the plot mostly exists to get to the next spine-rip — but Cage carries the whole thing on pure smug charisma, and honestly that’s enough for a rowdy fight-night. Out now: streaming on Max, or rent/buy below. FINISH HIM — and this time they mostly did.

🐾 Meesh: Bloody, loud, and finally rated for grown dogs. Some new guy nobody asked for, but Scorpion and Sub-Zero delivered. FINISH HIM, then belly rubs.

🐾 Meesh: More animated carnage, tournament stakes, no chill. If you liked Scorpion's Revenge, keep the treats coming. Solid follow-up.

🐾 Meesh: Animated, mean, and gloriously gory — the tone the live-action ones kept missing. Scorpion's origin actually made me whimper. Good.

🐾 Meesh: Everyone said this one was bad and for once the humans were right. Rubber costumes and a dragon that embarrassed itself. I have seen better animatronics at the vet. But if you love a so-bad-it’s-glorious watch, this is prime trainwreck territory — stream it with the gang and roast every frame.

🐾 Meesh: The music slapped and people flew through the air. I would have preferred more actual biting, but at least it had energy. Acceptable background noise while I guard the couch.

🐾 Meesh: Zach Cregger — the Barbarian guy — directing a Resident Evil? My ears shot straight up. He knows how to make a room feel WRONG. Haven’t seen it (in cinemas Sept 18), but this is the first RE movie I’m genuinely wagging for. Watch the trailer and tell me you’re not a little scared.

🐾 Meesh: The reboot that finally HUGGED the games — Spencer Mansion, the RPD, the right monsters — but so dark and so rushed I kept losing the plot in the murk. Fans caught every reference; everyone else got lost. The cast doing classic game lines in the promos won me over. Fun hate-watch, lights off, bar on the floor.

🐾 Meesh: The highest-scoring live-action one, and you can feel it trying to actually LAND the plane after six movies of beautiful nonsense. Messy, over-edited, but energetic — it races back to the Hive to close Alice's loop and mostly sticks it. A fittingly chaotic sendoff. Bring the whole B-movie crew.

🐾 Meesh: An underwater Umbrella base full of clones of everyone you half-remember — the plot is basically a boss-rush with a keycard. It is the most pure action-figures-smashed-together entry, which is either a compliment or a warning depending on your mood. I was in the mood. Loud, dumb, weirdly watchable.

🐾 Meesh: The one that discovered 3D and would NOT shut up about it — everything flies at the camera, everything is slow-mo, the L.A. prison finale is pure excess. Too in love with its own gimmick to be great, but the Executioner axe-fight is a genuine "oh no" delight. Watch it for the spectacle, not the sense.

🐾 Meesh: Alice goes full Mad Max — desert wasteland, a convoy, a giant infected-crow attack, and more clones than a copy machine. Critics shrugged; I wagged. Pure B-movie sunburn energy that knows exactly what it is. Great background chaos for a lazy Sunday.

🐾 Meesh: Critics gave this an 18% — cowards. More zombies, more Milla, Nemesis stomping around like he owns the place, a motorcycle-through-a-church-window that no sane person greenlit. Peak so-bad-it's-good cheese and I chewed through it like a rawhide. Brain off, snacks up.

🐾 Meesh: Zombies are fine, Milla is fine, and the rest reads like it was written by someone who only watched the cutscenes — BUT the Hive is genuinely creepy and that laser hallway is an all-timer critics were too cool to admit they loved. The most atmospheric of the live-action bunch. Rock-solid Friday-night stream.

🐾 Meesh: Six movies of Milla shooting things and the plot forgetting itself. It is a lot. It is also a commitment. Bulk treats for the zombie-inclined.

🐾 Meesh: The one the fans wanted: Leon, Chris, Jill, Claire AND Rebecca all in one movie, all on Alcatraz, all fighting a giant mutant nightmare. It is fan-service the size of a bus and it KNOWS it. Best of the CG films — bring the whole survivor pack.

🐾 Meesh: The Netflix CG mini-series — Leon and Claire, a White House outbreak, political rats-nest plotting. Handsome but talky; it forgets it is Resident Evil for long stretches, then remembers with a rat-monster and I perk right back up. Fine binge, not the best of the animated lot.

🐾 Meesh: Leon, Chris AND Rebecca team up, and the animation finally goes full glossy — motorcycle-through-a-zombie-horde glossy. The plot is thin gruel but the set-pieces are the best in the CG line. Style over substance, and honestly the style slaps.

🐾 Meesh: Leon in a war-torn Eastern Europe, Lickers on leashes, a Tyrant throwdown. More action than Degeneration and it looks sharper. Not deep, but it is a solid meat-and-potatoes RE night — good popcorn, good goo, good boy.

🐾 Meesh: Here is the dirty secret: the CG movies are more RESIDENT EVIL than the Milla ones. Leon AND Claire, an airport outbreak, actual survival-horror pacing, G-virus goo. The animation is a bit 2008-stiff, but it respects the games — my tail thumped. Start here if you want the canon.

🐾 Meesh: The Alicia Vikander sequel that never was. MGM sat on it so long the film rights EXPIRED — poof, gone in July 2022. Directors swapped (Ben Wheatley, then Misha Green), COVID piled on, and the whole thing fell down a tomb of its own making. The twist? Amazon MGM rebooted the entire franchise: Sophie Turner (yes, Sansa) is the new Lara Croft, Phoebe Waller-Bridge is writing it, with Sigourney Weaver and Jason Isaacs along for the raid — filming since early 2026, aiming for 2027. This one’s a ghost. File it in the graveyard with the games that never shipped.

🐾 Meesh: Alicia Vikander actually climbed things and looked tired doing it, which felt real. Grittier than the Angelina ones. Fine. I have dug better holes, but fine.

🐾 Meesh: Angelina again, a magic orb, some running. Forgettable like a fence post. I sniffed it once and moved on — but it’s perfect no-think popcorn action. Queue it up, don’t overthink it, enjoy the ride.

🐾 Meesh: Angelina ran a lot and looked cool doing it. Story was thinner than my patience for vacuum cleaners. Still better than most of the 90s attempts.

🐾 Meesh: Pretty people climbing things and looking for treasure. Fine airplane movie. I would not skip a walk for it.

🐾 Meesh: They made a movie of the ARCADE GAME where you smash buildings as a giant monster, gave it The Rock and a giant albino gorilla named George, and — plot twist — it is actually FUN. Zero brain, all spectacle, Dwayne emoting at a CGI ape harder than any human co-star. The rare game movie that knows exactly what it is. Good, dumb, destructive joy.

🐾 Meesh: Here’s the one every gamer needs to see: a kid grinds Gran Turismo in his bedroom and turns those virtual laps into a real GT racing seat — the true story of Jann Mardenborough. Blomkamp shoots the racing with actual weight, David Harbour grumbles perfectly, and the underdog beats land even when the script takes liberties with the facts. Critics were mixed; audiences gave it an A and 98%, and Meesh’s right there with them. Proof your controller hours might just count for something. Good crate, victory lap.

🐾 Meesh: Disney and Bruckheimer took Ubisoft’s parkour classic and made a perfectly serviceable swashbuckler — which, for a game movie, is nearly a miracle. Gyllenhaal leaps and quips, the Dagger of Time is a genuinely fun toy, and it all goes down smooth. Meesh missed the game’s wall-running poetry, but as popcorn it’s a real cut above the genre. One of the good ones.

🐾 Meesh: The orcs look incredible; the humans look like they wandered onto the wrong set. Gorgeous world with real Blizzard weight, but it lore-dumps like it's reading you the manual. Critics groaned, fans forgave it — I napped through the middle and woke up for the big swings.

🐾 Meesh: Finally — a video-game movie that’s genuinely GOOD. Based on Ubisoft’s VR party game (itself a spin on Werewolf/Mafia social deduction), it’s a snowbound whodunit that plays like Clue with claws and a cast that’s actually funny. It out-charms its own source material. Meesh’s tail did not stop wagging — good crate, no notes.

🐾 Meesh: Christophe Gans — the director who actually GOT the fog right in 2006 — came back for Silent Hill 2, the scariest and saddest one, and bottled that specific dread all over again. James, Mary, that letter, and a town that knows exactly what you did. It’s faithful the way only someone who’s played it can be: the fog, the rust, the ache. Finally a Silent Hill movie that respects the games. Meesh’s hackles are up in the good way — just do NOT watch this one home alone.

🐾 Meesh: Fog, ash, and Pyramid Head — it nailed the look and the dread better than almost any game movie. The story wandered off its leash in the back half, but that atmosphere kept my ears up the whole time. I'd guard the couch for this one.

🐾 Meesh: The reboot nobody ordered, and it earns every point of that 8%. Slick surfaces, hollow center — dull violence wrapped around product placement, with 47 somehow less compelling than an actual barcode. Meesh respects these games far too much to defend it. The 2007 one landed the hit; this one is the contract you turn down.

🐾 Meesh: Timothy Olyphant shaves down, wears the barcode, and broods through a Euro-thriller that’s more stylish than sharp. The gunplay flashes the game’s cold precision; the plot has the coherence of a silencer in a dark room. Meesh liked it more than the critics did — bald deadpan plus a body count is a perfectly good Tuesday. And it’s the better Hitman: audiences agree.

🐾 Meesh: Same barcode, same brood — just with the safety off. The unrated cut lets the violence breathe, which is rather the whole point of a Hitman film. If you’re watching one at all, Meesh says make it this cut. Still miles more coherent than the reboot, a bar it clears at a stroll.

🐾 Meesh: Meesh saw this one in the theater in 2001 — jaw on the floor at the first fully photorealistic CGI film ever made. It was so far ahead of its time it bankrupted Square's entire movie studio trying to make it. The world called it a flop. Meesh called it a gorgeous, doomed swing then, and still does. Aki Ross had more animation frames in her hair than most films had budget, and the Gaia-versus-Phantoms sci-fi is quietly beautiful if you let it breathe. Thin story? Sure. Dared what nobody else would? Absolutely. I was there. I loved it. Still do — this one lives in the good crate, no apologies.

🐾 Meesh: Fassbender and Cotillard are far too good for this — a stacked cast stranded in gray Abstergo hallways when I just wanted rooftops and hidden blades. Handsome, humorless, and about as fun as a trip to the vet. Still — the Spain leap-of-faith and rooftop chases are genuinely gorgeous; stream it for the parkour, mute the exposition.

🐾 Meesh: Milla Jovovich (naturally) portals into Capcom’s world, and it is a glorious MINDLESS blur of sand, teeth, and Diablos — precisely what a Monster Hunter movie ought to be. Thin dialogue, enormous monsters, Tony Jaa sharing a chocolate bar mid-hunt. Meesh came to carve, not to read subtitles, and the hunt absolutely slaps. Ignore the plot, grab a whetstone.

🐾 Meesh: Someone looked at Mortal Kombat: ANNIHILATION — one of the most legendarily bad game-movie sequels ever committed to film — and thought, "yes, let’s borrow THAT exact subtitle." Bold choice. This is the direct-to-video Doom: no Rock, no budget, no BFG-sized ambition, and a title that was already cursed on arrival. And yet — for a bad-movie-night crew who likes their trainwrecks off-brand, it’s a gloriously cheap hate-watch. Two Annihilations, zero regrets.

🐾 Meesh: They had The Rock and still somehow made it boring. First-person sequence was neat for ten seconds. Then it remembered it was a bad movie. BUT that first-person sequence is a genuine cult moment — worth a stream just to watch The Rock go full doomguy.

🐾 Meesh: It was, and there’s no way around this, Max PAYNE to watch — but Meesh’s a completionist, so she sat through every snow-soaked, over-lit frame. Wahlberg glowers, the bullet-time is criminally rationed, and the plot’s been torn from a graphic novel and taped back wrong. And still the mood creeps in around the edges. Painful? Deeply. Worth it for the meme? Absolutely.

🐾 Meesh: Same Payne, slightly sharper edges — the unrated cut nudges the grimace from PG-13 to hard-R. Meesh keeps it family-friendly around here, so she’ll simply note: the extra minutes don’t repair the plot, but they do lean harder into the noir. Still Max Payne to watch. Still, somehow, worth the ache.

🐾 Meesh: Insomniac was hands-on, which is why it LOOKS like the game — bright, weightless, weaponized joy. It also plays it safe, retelling the origin without the games’ razor wit. Meesh wanted more Mr. Zurkon and fewer training montages, but as a kids’-afternoon watch it’s harmless fun with a great gun rack. Family crate — a little by-the-numbers, still a smile.

🐾 Meesh: A REAL Street Fighter movie — the first since Van Damme yelled his way to cult infamy in ’94. New cast, actual budget, and PLEASE a plot that doesn’t sprint off like a squirrel. Game movies have burned me before, but Sonic and The Last of Us broke the curse, so my ears are UP. In theaters October 16, 2026 — watch the trailer and throw a Hadouken with me.

🐾 Meesh: Somebody watched the Van Damme one and thought, "what if we did that again, but with less fun?" Kristin Kreuk deserved so much better, and the movie somehow forgets that Chun-Li — a FIGHTER — should mostly be fighting. BUT: Chris Klein’s Charlie Nash is a hall-of-fame overacting performance, a meme unto itself, worth the price of admission for his line readings alone. Dour where the original was dumb-fun, so bring friends and hate-watch it for the unintentional comedy.

🐾 Meesh: I barked at the screen for two hours and nothing good happened. Jean-Claude just yelled and the plot ran away like a squirrel. Not even a good chew toy of a movie. You got paid! …And yet it’s SO bad it became legendary — grab friends, grab snacks, and hate-watch it loud. Worth one stream for the trainwreck alone.

🐾 Meesh: Aaron Paul, real cars, real stunts, blessedly little CGI — the driving is the real deal. The plot is a preposterous coast-to-coast revenge lap held together with engine noise and duct tape. Meesh doesn’t attend a Need for Speed movie for the dialogue; she’s here for the burnouts, and they deliver. Brain off, volume up.

🐾 Meesh: Post-apocalyptic “New Angeles,” a mystical medallion, and the Lee brothers in full neon — it has about as much to do with the beat-’em-up as a fortune cookie has to do with dinner. And yet there’s a Saturday-morning cheese to it Meesh can’t stay mad at. She grew up feeding the arcade quarters; the movie’s a fever dream, but an affectionate one. Guilty crate, kept warm.

🐾 Meesh: The great vanishing act — a story only 1ME will bother to tell. Universal handed Spy Hunter to Dwayne Johnson AND John Woo (yes, the Face/Off gun-fu maestro himself), then let it die by a thousand rewrites — Zak Penn, the 2 Fast guy, a revolving door of scripts — while The Rock’s Doom face-planted in 2005. Woo walked, the studio blinked, and the movie evaporated into development-hell smoke. But here’s the twist: Midway had ALREADY digitized The Rock — face, voice, eyebrow and all — so they shipped the game without the film. Spy Hunter: Nowhere to Run is the ONLY entry that lets you climb OUT of the shape-shifting Interceptor and brawl on foot as Agent Alex Decker, throwing camera-facing WWE haymakers between car-boat-motorcycle chases. The movie’s a ghost. The game is its fossil — and it’s right here. Skip the séance, go play the thing that actually escaped.

🐾 Meesh: Eli Roth pointed a stacked cast — Cate Blanchett, Jack Black, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis — at Pandora and produced, in the critics’ own word, pure “balderdash.” A 10% and a D+ CinemaScore is a rare feat of collective misfire. But here’s Meesh’s real burn: the funniest thing about Borderlands is that the MOVIE actually shipped while Borderlands 4 sat stuck in dev-hell limbo — the wrong one escaped vaporware. Skip the film. Go laugh at the graveyard instead.

🐾 Meesh: The Christian Slater flop got a direct-to-video sequel nobody asked for. Lance Henriksen wandered in to collect a paycheck and even the shadows looked bored. I have napped through scarier vacuum cleaners — but it’s perfect bad-movie-night fuel, and that’s a real crowd. Stream it, roast it, enjoy it.

🐾 Meesh: Uwe Boll doing what Uwe Boll does. Tara Reid plays a nuclear scientist, Christian Slater keeps eyeing the exit, and the plot looks assembled from spare parts in the dark. I've buried chew toys I respected more. Two paws down — but it's the gold standard of Uwe Boll disasters, and if you collect legendary trainwrecks this is a must-stream hate-watch.

🐾 Meesh: The direct-to-TV sequel nobody demanded, and every dollar of the budget is visible on screen. A campus outbreak, a “HYPER SAPIEN” virus, and line readings the arcade’s attract mode would blush at. Meesh admires the sheer refusal to quit. Watch on a dare, never on a date.

🐾 Meesh: Uwe Boll aimed a camera at a light-gun classic and produced something you can somehow LOSE at just by watching. He splices real arcade footage between the kills — a choice so baffling it loops back around to art. Meesh sat through every rave-in-the-woods second and cannot defend a frame of it. Pure so-bad-it’s-a-dare. Bad crate, front row.

🐾 Meesh: Rayne vs NAZI vampires in WWII. Uwe Boll fully embraces the grindhouse and, weirdly, that is when this series is at its most watchable — it finally stops pretending and just serves schlock with a straight face. The trilogy peak, which tells you everything about the trilogy. Loud, gory, dumb, fun.

🐾 Meesh: The sequel drops Rayne into the OLD WEST to fight vampire Billy the Kid. Yes, really. Natassia Malthe takes over, the budget takes a nap, and the whole thing plays like a fever dream about cowboys and fangs. Gloriously indefensible — exactly the kind of nonsense a hate-watch night runs on.

🐾 Meesh: Kristanna Loken as the vampire Rayne, Ben Kingsley collecting a paycheck with visible regret, Michael Madsen looking for the exit — Uwe Boll adapting the hack-and-slash game with all the coherence of a dropped controller. It is bad. It is also a party if you bring friends and low expectations. Sink your teeth in ironically.

🐾 Meesh: Uwe Boll adapting the most tasteless game ever made — and somehow he made it MORE chaotic. Offensive on purpose, dumb by accident, occasionally so wrong it loops back to funny. I sniffed it, sneezed, walked away. One paw, held up in warning — but it’s pure hate-watch gold. Stream it with friends who won’t judge you; chaos worth witnessing once.

🐾 Meesh: A direct-to-video “prequel” so disconnected from Tekken it gives Kazuya AMNESIA so it never has to explain itself. Almost nothing links it to the games — or even the 2010 film — beyond a couple of returning faces cashing a check. An IMDb 2.8 is the internet being generous. Meesh watched so you don’t have to: this is the bottom of the barrel’s basement. Bad crate, buried deep.

🐾 Meesh: The King of Iron Fist Tournament deserved better than a murky, low-budget cage-match movie that trades the games’ roster charm for generic dystopia. Jon Foo throws real kicks — the boy can fight — but the story barely remembers it’s Tekken past the character names and a Heihachi glower. Critics handed it a flat 0%; fans were a shade kinder. There’s no stream, so the Blu-ray is the only door in. Bad crate, decent kicks.

🐾 Meesh: Dominic Purcell, a modern hitman yanked into Ehb AGAIN. By now the "Dungeon Siege" connection is a business card someone found in a drawer. It exists, it is short, it is deeply strange. For Uwe Boll completionists and no one else — but if that is you, welcome home.

🐾 Meesh: Now it is Dolph Lundgren, and someone bolted a TIME-TRAVEL plot onto the Dungeon Siege branding — modern guy yanked into medieval Ehb. It barely remembers the first movie, let alone the games. Pure late-night, why-does-this-exist Uwe Boll chaos. I respect the audacity and nothing else.

🐾 Meesh: Uwe Boll got Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds AND Ron Perlman for a Dungeon Siege movie, spent $60M, made $13M, and landed a legendary 4% — a bomb so complete it circled back to fascinating. Statham swinging a sword with a straight face while the Krug attack is a genuine hate-watch treasure. Bring the whole pack and laugh.

🐾 Meesh: Corey Yuen took a fighting game famous for, ahem, its “physics” and made exactly the brainless beach-volleyball-and-roundhouse romp you’d expect — and honestly? It knows it. Jaime Pressly and Devon Aoki kick through a plot you’re required to leave at the door, and if you do, it’s a dumb-fun 90 minutes. Not GOOD, but gleefully unbothered about it. Meesh says turn your brain off — it’s more fun than it has any right to be. Guilty crate.